confession

i truly must confess, i am a horrible christian. my faith is weak and i'm way too impatient.

i just realized that i'm so busy worrying about what God's plan is going to be for me, i don't appreciate and enjoy the gifts He gives me everyday. it is extremely egotistical of me to think that i need to know His plans. my job is to follow Him every day, regardless of what His overall plan is. i should know this stuff. i should remember this stuff, but i'm flesh afterall.

so i need reminding.

i need moments like tonight with w and i talking with the grandkids, interacting with them, explaining things to them to realize that i am exactly where He wants me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to do. if not us (w and i), then who? what greater legacy to leave on this earth than good, strong, christian people.

i need to remember just how blessed i am.

memorial day

as this day winds down, i must say it was a lot of fun. we invited jr., ashley, christopher, victoria and austin over for a bbq. austin asked if his friend, aaron, could come along. so we had a houseful. austin and aaron manned the grill and did a great job on the chicken, hamburgers and hotdogs. we rounded out the meal with some potato salad, baked beans, corn on the cob with watermelon for desert. can you beat that for a menu?

after dinner, we all went in for a swim. the grandkids got to swim with their parents and they were thrilled with that. w and i were thrilled that we got to swim without them hanging on our elbows, so it was nice for us as well.

we had a great time, it's what life is all about.

great ride

once we got up this morning, w loaded my dirtbike up in the van. he took my dakar since his klr is out of commission. we packed up some supplies for a friend of ours that lives off the grid in the desert south of coolidge.

this guy is amazing. he's close to 80 years old and tougher than nails. he actually owns a condo in coolidge, but rents it out and chooses to live in the desert. there is no electricity, no water other than what he hauls in. no air conditioning, no creature comforts. i could not do it. even when i camped in a tent, i never roughed it like this guy does on a daily basis.

so we brought him some dried beans and as many non-meat, non-perishables as we could. canned milk, pasta, lentils, peanut butter, etc. don't know if he will even eat it, but it's available to him tonight.

after feeding our egg mcmuffin ham to his most appreciative dogs, we unloaded my bike, left the van, and headed down a gas line road. before too long, we hit a locked gate with a no trespassing sign. so we veered off to the north and rode until the path petered out. then we rode some more. it was odd trying to find our way back to a road, but the terrain was pretty open. before too long, we found a power line road that took us south, then east until it too petered out.

we opted to take another road that took us through some deep sand washes. my bike was fine, but w could be heard practicing his "longshoreman" vocabulary not too far behind me. he took the lead and we traversed the open desert until we could find something resembling a path.

and so we continued until we were too hot and tired to continue. i remember thinking along the way "boy, this sure is fun!" i almost had to give it up because of my back. less than a year later, i'm riding hard and needing the grin slapped off my face.

life is good.

lazy sabbath

i took the kids dirtbiking at the end of the block last night. at one point victoria said she wanted to go home. i told chris to wait for me, i'd drop her off and be back. when we got to the house, she decided she didn't want to stay. i took her back to the desert with me and we continued riding for a while.

we got up early this morning. . .because victoria woke up early. we went to pick up our bountiful baskets, only to discover the truck hadn't arrived. so we kicked into action and when the truck did arrive, we pitched in and help load all the baskets, break down the boxes, etc. even the kids did a great job.

then when it came time for us to claim our baskets, we discovered that i had never completed the transaction so our veggies for the next week were but a mere fantasy. i was so upset with myself i could barely stand it. i had so much planned for that food.

then it was home to change clothes and get ourselves off to church. that went much better. when we realized that we had guest speakers that w had already heard and didn't recommend. we decided to leave early. victoria fell asleep in the car on the way home, but fortunately, she went right back to sleep when we got home. that meant i got a nap too! i love my sabbath naps.

so now we are waiting for my sister and mom to arrive. i haven't seen my sister in 3 years. the last time was at my father's funeral. she normally comes over more often, guess other things just got in the way. she's here now and that's what matters. they want to go over and see the inside of the rv. heh. they are in for a treat.

actually, mom keeps saying the outside looked much better than she was expecting. i feel kind of bad about that as i guess i must have really set some low expectations.

we're grilling chicken breasts tonight. i was planning on steaming some veggies with it. i guess that's not going to happen. :-(

it rained this morning

and the temperature was unbelievably awesome. hubby and i took advantage of the rain to pull some weeds in the back yard. didn't make it easy, but less difficult, if that makes any sense at all, if it doesn't, well too bad.

but the car didn't get cleaned out. . .not entirely. but who knows, it is a 3 day weekend. hey, wait a minute, i'm not currently employed, i guess that means i have a 7 day weekend.

well, looking forward to sunday so i can file for my unemployment check. now there's some ambition for ya!

some success

you will all be happy to know that i finished trimming back the rosemary and some other generic plant in the front. you could now see and use (if you wish) my sidewalk. no one ever does, however, they just walk through the yard, straightest shot to the door.

i didn't really clean the car, i did take a few things out, but i guess that will happen tomorrow. . .maybe.

i did some coupon shopping today. major savings, major. it's a lot of work, as i go to a few different stores. i was able to pick up some food for next to nothing that i can donate to some needy groups.

i also signed victoria up for some weeks of public swimming lessons. she really needs to become a true swimmer this year. she's not had formal swimming lessons before though. in arizona, with pools everywhere (in my back yard) a 3 year old must know how to swim.

so tomorrow maybe the car and the back yard, maybe, we'll see, if it fits in to my schedule. i'm pretty lazy you know. . .

catch up

i'm catching up on things. all kinds of things, blogging, bow making, letter making, house cleaning, etc., etc., etc.

i don't know what ever made me decide to do those letters for the grandkids. gavin, victoria, christopher. long, longer and longest. anyway, they are officially done as of today and i don't want to see another one.

taking at least a break in the bow making festivities. i must say, she looks like a little doll with all her matching bows, and she likes having her hair done. i took her to get a pedicure/manicure yesterday. she sat there the whole time as patient as can be. she chose her own color and top coat, then we added a flower. she was such a princess.

next thing on the agenda is to get the car cleaned out, trim the bushes out front which are rapidly eating the sidewalk, and then train my attention to the back yard. the weeds are nearing waist high in some places.

the pool is already walk in comfortable. that means no yelling "mother of pearl!" when you enter. walk in comfortable is not a good thing this early in the swimming season.

and then. . .who knows. i'll take life as it comes.

much work

i've got so much work to do today. i must start with my floors. my tile is hideously dirty and i can no longer stand it. the dogs will get the boot and then i'll get down to business.

i also need to finish up christopher's star wars letters and finish up victoria's hairbows that i've been making. as if i need another thing to do. :-)

maybe i'll send a batch to courtney. i'll bet she'd like to have some too.

whew

just returned home from a week at megan's babysitting little gavin. can you believe she's back to work already! it's crazy.

gavin is absolutely adorable. he is a great baby and only gets up once at night. he's already starting to develop a schedule so that is good. but man, i'm tired. a newborn requires a LOT of work, albeit rewarding. when i returned home with victoria, all of the sudden she seemed so old and self-sufficient. it really is nice when they can communicate their needs.

and i miss my husband who's been out on a road trip for the past week with the boys. he's coming home today and i can't wait to see him. first, i need to make it through a long day with the kids. they have a whole schedule today that begins at 8:00 a.m. i swear i'm too old for this!

more later, i gotta rest now.

i'm not angry anymore

a few days have passed and things have gotten back on even keel.

tomorrow is mother's day. so happy mother's day to all you moms out there.

i just ordered a grille piece for my car. the last one was hanging on by a too small amount of adhesive left melting on the duck tape it was attached with. when i saw what was happening, i slowed on the freeway to pull over. it was all that was needed to lose the grille right there in the middle of southbound i-10. just as i was getting back in the car after discovering it was missing, i heard a car behind me run over it and smash it to smithereens. i guess that's what was meant to happen. it's been broken and a pain since we bought the car. so now it's done., finished, and i can move on with my life.

my next big project in life? i'm going to learn how to make hair bows for victoria. while i'm sitting with gavin next week, i figure i'll have plenty of time to experiment with the different types and styles. did you even know that youtube has actual videos instructing you on how to make them. honestly, what did we do without the internet?!? just think how much smarter i'd be today if i had had more time on it. it's just scary i tell ya!

i plan on getting a lot of loose ends wrapped up next week. hopefully gavin will cooperate. :-D

angry

i'm angry.

angry, angry, angry.

self-serving, unappreciative, emotion draining, narcissistic people.

they. piss. me. off.

monday

sigh. another week begins.

i'm still in recovery mode from the weekend. we took the grandkids to an adventurer's club weekend. adventurer's club is a religious based boy scout/girls scout type of group. the cool thing is, they begin at age 3, so victoria can participate as well. the whole weekend was about singing, arts & crafts and games. they had a ball and both kids took naps on the way home yesterday. that's almost unheard of for christopher. heh, he sat down at the table, put his head down and fell fast asleep. i roused him long enough to move him to the sofa.

so plans for this week are to wash/wax/detail the rv, clean my house (huge effort), get ready for my job next week. that is to watch gavin for the week. gavin will also begin his castings for his tiny club foot. 50% of those treated require surgery at the end. please keep little gavin in your prayers that he can be in the 50% that don't require it.

i'm sure about 75 things will come along to throw me off track.